


A Man Of Many Hidden Talents

by DittyWrites



Series: Riddles of the Sphinx [1]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Arkham Asylum (Video Games), DCU, DCU (Animated), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Domestic, F/M, Fluff, Massage, aww eddie you fucking goober, lil bit of fun, whats a massage between old pals eh?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 17:59:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4401740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DittyWrites/pseuds/DittyWrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tumblr Prompt - Riddler/Catwoman: “Do you..well...i mean...i could give you a massage?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Man Of Many Hidden Talents

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BustyWritesStuff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BustyWritesStuff/gifts).



There were very few times in his life when Edward Nygma was a little uncertain of what to do and, if pressed, he could probably count each individual occurance on just one hand. He was a confident man in all aspects of his life and it was incredibly rare for him to be caught off-guard by events.

This moment would appear to be oneoof those few exceptions since he had just walked into his secret hideout to find Selina Kyle lounging delicately on one of his luxury armchairs with an ice pack attached to her left shoulder.

It was not the fact that she was in his hideout which had thrown him but that fact that she was in his hideout completely uncovered from the waist up, save for a small black-lace bra. Her costume was bunched around her stomach since she had obviously peeled it off to get better access to her apparently injured shoulder.

“Shut the door Eddie! You're letting all the cold in.” She barked at him, uncaring of her state of undress.

Still slightly perturbed by her presence, Edward did as he had been instructed without thought before regaining some of his usual confidence.

“Selina! How nice of you to drop by my little home? What brings you here dear?” He asked as he approached the armchair she was in, pausing before sitting directly across from her in the opposing seat.

His relationship with Selina had always been amicable, friendly even, but this was a turn of events he had not really anticipated.

Friends or not, he was still a healthy red-blooded male and he could at least enjoy the view while it lasted.

“Had a run in with some punks earlier. One of them managed to get a lucky shot at my shoulder with a bat.” She frowned in confession. “I was sloppy and over-confident and now my shoulder is aching like a bitch.”

“A regular street punk? Selina you are losing your touch.” Edward commented wryly, hoping to get a rise out of her.

Winding up Selina was one of the few pleasures he got out of life and he took every opportunity.

“Shut up. I am not in the mood.” She hissed a little as she adjusted her shoulder to determine the extend of the damage. “And it's goddamn freezing in here, Eddie.” She complained as she glanced around the small hideout.

How she knew its locstion, Edward was unaware, but what was done was done. 

“Clearly.” Edward quipped in response as he openly stared at her chest. “Pardon my rudeness,  Selina,  but i'm pretty certain you could cut glass with those.” He smirked as he gestured vaguely to her bra and the small points he could see poking through.

Growling out in clear warning she hissed. “Don't push it,  Nygma. I could have went to any other lair around these parts if I wanted to deal with some random pig. I thought you had more class than that.”

Placing one hand over his own heart, Edward feigned shock. “Selina darling it was NEVER my intention to offend you in any way. Please accept my most sincere apologies.”

Selina rolled her eyes at his dramatics.

“Besides where else could you go in this neck of the woods?”

“Cranes' lair is only a few blocks away.” She countered instantly.

“Jonathan Crane is a noted repressed pervert. He would try to 'fear-talk' you into his bed and compromise your chastity.”

“Sounds kinky, I might head over later.”

Edward flinched at the thought. “Please don't even joke about such things.”

“Aww what's the matter Eddie? Don't you li-” Selina cut herself off with a sharp intake of breath as she accidentally jerked her shoulder. “Damn thing wouldn't hurt nearly as much if the muscles weren't so tense.”

“Do you..well...i mean...i could give you a massage?” Edward offered tentatively before he'd really considered what he was offering.

Selina narrowed her eyes, shooting him a look of pure suspicion as she tried to work out his intentions.

They had always had a considerable respect for each other and with it came a unspoken 'no touching rule' which they both generally adhered to.

But she was a little curious as to the mans abilities.

“Sure Eddie. But I warn you right now, those hands go anywhere lower on my body, or just anywhere they're not supposed to be, and then we'll see how quickly you can make those damn trophies of yours with two stumps instead of hands.” She warned, holding direct eye contact with him to emphasise how serious she was.

“Scouts honour.” He replied instantly before walking over to one of the old cupboard and pulling out a large, thick blanket which he lay on the ground just below the armchair Selina was currently lying across.

He pointed to it in invitation and she slid from the chair to the blanket, sitting cross-legged with her back to the chair.

Edward moved in behind her and sat on the armchair in regular fashion with his legs spread so that Selina could scoot between them and move closer to him, allowing him easier access to her injured shoulder.

“Gently now,  Ed. I would hate to have to use my claws to make you permanently unable to ever father a child.” Behind her she could feel Edward tense slightly at the threat to his manhood. “Good boy.”

“Now please don't kill me if I accidentally hurt something.” Edward requested quietly as he placed the pads of his gloved fingers on her shoulder.

Making small circular motions, he used both hands to gently begin massaging the swollen flesh on her pale shoulder.

She sighed contentedly and it spurned him on to give the gesture a little more force. Since he was using the gloves he did not need any oils or anything to get a smooth movement and he continued at a slow pace.

After about five minutes he decided to test the waters and moved his right hand over slightly to rub at the nape of her neck.

Selina tensed initially but soon relaxed again as she enjoyed the unexpected ministrations.

Removing the glove from his right hand with his mouth, he scraped his nails down her neck softly and smirked as it caused goosebumps to rise over her exposed flesh as she shivered.

Moaning quietly,  Selina spoke blissfully, “Oh my god Eddie. You've been holding out on me. How did you get so good at this?”

“What can I say Selina? I'm a man of many hidden talents.”

Using his mild medical knowledge he placed his thumb over one of the pressure points in her shoulder and used the pad to stimulate it into action.

Selina groaned quietly in pleasure at the sudden change and Edward felt a sudden warmth flood through his body and he felt a considerable amount of pride that he had been able to draw that noise from her.

Unfortunately, her moaning had another effect on his body and he shifted uncomfortably as she attempted to lean back further against him.

“Uhh Selina dear?” She hummed in response. “Could you move forward slightly? You're a few centimeters away from feeling something against your back which might put a dampener on this lovely little get-together.”

“Huh?” She asked as she  spun around and noticed the problem he was having. Smiling at his mild embarrassment, she quipped. “Have you went dizzy Eddie? All that blood rushing southward that fast can't be healthy.”

“And you accuse me of being crass. Well unless you plan to do something about this,” he glanced down at his lap, “then I think we should maybe call it a day.”

Selina moved to stand up but Edward was faster and he held out a hand to help her to her feet which she accepted gratefully.

Standing she attempted to work her shoulder back into the skin-tight costume.

“I could...uhh...hold those if you want?” He nodded at her chest. “If it would help you get into your costume easier that is.”

“Nice try but nope. Maybe next time.” His head perked up a little at her words.

“A man can dream.” He sighed as he dropped back into the armchair. Smirking at how dejected he looked, Selina walked over and placed a small kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you Eddie.” She moved over to the door and paused in the doorway for a second to have one last look at the man whom it seemed had more talents than anyone gave him credit for.


End file.
